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Imagine

27 February, 2012

We seemed to have been bombarded- for what seems like an eternity, but in fact has been only five days- with 24/7 politics…….’She did this, he said that, he is on her side and she refuses to have a bar of him and so on. (Substitute various players from the political soap opera that has been.) There has been constant news coverage, analysis, dissecting of every word said, multiple photo opportunities – to the point of extreme exhaustion on the part of the public to absorb one more word on the topic.

Now imagine if instead of who would be the better political leader, the topic of conversation and ernest debate had been how to decrease the incidence of incontinence, prolapse and persistent pelvic pain in the Australian community. Lets look at the recent speeches by JG and KR (you know who I mean) and reword them to this effect:

………….Prime Minister Julia Gillard has promised voters “the pelvic floor drama is over” after the Labor caucus gave her its resounding backing to spend whatever it takes to educate the public about this critical health issue that affects over 4 million Australians and costs the economy approximately$40 billion every year (which includes loss of productivity).

The vast majority of caucus members swung behind Ms Gillard in a tense 75-minute meeting, delivering her 71 votes to 31- a clear mandate to introduce simple good bladder and bowel messages on milk cartons and bread packaging- despite polling that showed voters continued to prefer the concept that ignorance is bliss and popping a pad on might be an acceptable bandaid solution.

“Australians have had a gutful of seeing women, men and even children suffer with pelvic floor dysfunction. I understand the frustrations of Australians such as women enduring the shock of being diagnosed with anterior or posterior wall prolapse for the first time – and then seeing us carry on like the Griswalds’ family Christmas- when there is such important work to be done in this area.

We are urgently setting up a Senate Committee to look into the feasability of funding for social media messages related to regular simple preventative measures and also investigating the expansion of Medicare to routinely provide substantial rebates for women to receive treatment from trained Continence and Womens health Physiotherapists,” Ms Gillard told reporters after the ballot in Canberra.

“Today I want to say to Australians one and all – this issue of informing the public of the simple measures to effectively treat prolapse for women such as pelvic floor muscle training, teaching the knack- or engaging your pelvic floor muscles prior to increasing intrabdominal pressure and defaecation dynamics as well as the leadership question, it’s now determined.

Gillard added she was impatient to get on with the job. “I can assure you that this political drama is over and now you and your pelvic floors are back to centre stage where they should properly be.”

Turning to the difficult task of managing the complex issue of helping people who suffer persistent pelvic pain, Ms Gillard said: “We have come together before at conferences to amalgamate the best minds and spread the word about the new ways to manage complex chronic pain in this region and we will do so again now. We will move forward as a united team – I’m absolutely confident of that,” reiterating she was confident of leading the party to finally eliminating the scourge of persistant pelvic pain.

Today Kevin Rudd congratulated Gillard on her win and said he accepted the mandate Julia has to move on with rapidly expanding the budget for the Paediatric Continence Project  “without  qualification”.  “To Julia, I say, I accept fully the verdict of the (Labor) caucus and I dedicate myself to working fully for this new idea of introducing education regarding the bladder and bowel into the health education curriculum so that the science of this complex area becomes well understood at an early age.”

“It’s well past time that these wounds were healed,” he said. Labor members of parliament on both sides of the leadership divide have called for the party to unite behind the peak body for Continence management in Australia- the Continence Foundation of Australia. She said Australians should honour the achievements made by this dedicated group of professionals that include physiotherapists, continence nurses and doctors…………

Anyway, you get the idea. I am really a bit annoyed that this Kruddrama or Juliagate didn’t actually coincide with April 1st.

One Comment
  1. Katie permalink

    I would have loved to hear those words!!! What do we have to do to finally get some decent discussion out there about this topic? I would just love to have some sort of media attention delve right into the whole pop epidemic. Love reading your blog.

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